Super Moon. Super Grief.
It’s been five years! Will I ever be ‘done’ with this Super Grief?
“It always seems impossible until it is done.” – Nelson Mandela
Yes here we are in the midst of “super”. Super Moon. Super Bowl Sunday. Super Grief.
Did the light of the ‘Super Moon’ awaken you? It did me.
So did the text yesterday from an adult child who’s parent had just died. They were longing to know if this pain would always be present.
What I do know is that “Pain is inevitable, but Suffering is optional” according to the Buddhists.
First I acknowledged this tragedy and the pain I was ‘hearing’. Then I asked this person to email me the course of their parent’s illness from diagnosis to death. It was facts riddled with their beliefs of not doing enough, saying the ‘right’ thing and being there at the end. When we listen to one another, deeply, with the intent to discover, not solve or resolve, people reveal the beliefs increasing their grief. Beliefs that keep this Super Grief the cesspool that they swim in for years. Oh, they may not be able to tolerate anything more than ‘Thank you for sharing this intense chapter of your life’. Pointing out each of the places that they are keeping themselves in ‘Super Grief’ is not kind and loving early on. I then invited this person to download my book which absolutely shows this pain does not last forever.
Super Bowl Sunday in Your Body
So as millions gather to eat, drink and party this Sunday, what is a grieving person to DO?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. When we can simply allow ourselves to BE in the moment and ask :
“What is most kind and loving for me now?” it takes the Doing out of the equation.
We may then turn our focus to Listening to what our body wants. We may allow ourselves in this stillness to begin to trust our body to tell us what it desires. A nap under heavy covers to dissipate the fatigue is a frequent body message. Self-care is the ground for moving through and out of grief’s grip.
If asking that question aloud elicits nothing, you have a choice to deepen your listening. Write the question “What is most kind and loving for me now?” with your dominant hand and then ‘listen’ by writing what you hear in your head or beyond with your non-dominate hand. Notice where in your body the answer comes from.
The Body Tells the Truth. Get out of your fearful mind into healing your heart through the bridge of your body.