Your world has been turned upside down by loss.
But the world is still moving forward. How can this be?
You’re struggling to gain your footing. To feel better – like your old self. You’ve been pulled into a place where others are not. A place of pain. A place of sadness, longing, anger, despair.
No-thing is as it was before the moment of this loss!
This is your place for now. Be here in it.
[NOTE: don’t do this alone]
No one can experience your suffering the same way you do. But there are others surrounding you who care. They are your grief-adjacent. Allow them to connect. Let them listen to your stories of better days.
Grief is really a gigantic TIME-OUT. A time to move inwards. Because grief is an inside job.
It’s a time to withdraw from all the “shoulds”. Do ONLY what must be done. The world will go on without you.
To survive this pain, YOU must limit your doing. Let the flowers bloom, the birds sing, the nightly news blather on.
All the while, you simply take a time-out. Do only your most essential roles. The absolutes.
So, my friend:
First, breathe. Take a deep Centering Breath.
In through your nose and out through your nose. Feel the temperature of the air.
Then list the essential “To Dos” here. If that’s impossible because you think everything is essential, you need outside help.
[you might also find this article helpful: find support in the moments not in words]
Call the one person who will not let you fall. A solid rock you can depend on. Ask if they’re available to visit, text, email, or call. And ask them, “What do I absolutely have to do in the next year?” Then delegate or let go of the rest.
Second, pull out your journal or a clean sheet of paper and list the Absolute To-Dos:
I may only do: __________________________________________________
Then write this affirmation somewhere on that page.
Affirmation: I give myself permission to take a Time-Out. I allow myself to do less as I do the hard work of grieving.
You may also find this article https://www.beyondyourgrief.com/its-the-moments-not-words/
Love all around, above, below, to the left and to the right, before you and behind you,