What’s Your Level of Grief


Where’s Your Grief?

My Dear Community,

The holidays are here.

Sharing authentically with others about how we’re feeling allows real connection. It frees us from the isolation of grief. It would help if others quit asking “How are you?”

And YOU, my friends, are amazing!!

Time after time you show up in your vulnerability. Emotional, authentic and wise, you continue to inform and enlighten. Thank you!!

This past week one client said, “I don’t want anyone to ask, ‘How are you?’”

Another stated, “I wish people would ask ‘How’s your grief?’”

Does it make a difference what people ask when greeting or checking in with us?

At church last Sunday I said to a fellow member, “You keep coming to mind and heart. How are you?”  He replied, “About a 7 to 8.”

What do you think?

What would it be like to have people ask us, “How’s your grief?” You could answer with a scale of 0-10, like the fellow above. You could determine the meaning for yourself. Here’s an example:

0-2  Not affecting my life at all (Gentle Grief /Underground stream)

3-4  Barely affecting my life

5   I am aware of my grief and choose to keep moving forward

6-7  Grief has me in its grip most of the time (Stuck/Complicated)

8-9  I am barely holding myself together – so leave me alone (Fragile)

10   I am feeling the isolation and pain intensely at this moment (Raw)


Depending on someone’s awareness level, what would it be like if they asked you, “Where’s your grief?”

You could answer with a place in your body…. “My shoulder, my stomach, etc.”

Would this be helpful? How?

Please share your thoughts with me and, if you’re comfortable, this group.

Also, which of those two questions would you prefer people asked you? “How’s your grief?” or “Where’s your grief?”

Awaiting your thoughts.

Peace and Blessings All Over,