Are You Keeping the Next Door Shut?
“By accepting fear in our life, we automatically allow it to rule over us”
― Sunday Adelaja
Easter Sunday brought tears. I had not planned on allowing a day of tears. But there they were.
My son, the screenwriter, encountered a week of loss and disappointment. He’d received a low score on his latest screenplay submission. No purchase. No Production. Door slammed shut.
Then my son got a call. His little buddy, Maggie, the shih tzu he day-cares, was gone. She had to be put down. He and her owner grieved, comforting each other for the lost sweet presence of a wonderful companion.
Topping it off, the weather was gloomy. The energy in our home was gloomy. I was getting sucked into the gloom. What was I going to allow?
I simply held the space for my son’s fears and tears. He would not let me hold him as he silently sobbed. He was stuck in fear.
My heart ached for him and I was reminded, “When one door closes, another one opens.” My hope for him was renewed. A new door would open. When he was ready to allow it, he would step through.
Earlier in the week I had a similar experience with a client. This millennial young man sobbed into his sweatshirt – heartbroken with grief. I motioned for his sister to come sit with him. She didn’t. But it was okay. He told me later, the space was what he needed. Just our presence, silently holding him without touching, gave hope. A door is opening for him, too.
What is Allowing Anyway?
Allow: to permit or fail to restrain/prevent. A choice we make.
I remember in my own raw grief that I felt out-of-control. The door to life, as I had known it, had been slammed shut. The basic human need for security and control – thwarted. My fear took over.
But somehow, someway, a part of me stayed open; allowing others to hold me. To do for me. I granted others permission to copy photos. I conceded a funeral needed planning. I owned the choice of grass green napkins with white printing. These were the colors of my son, Reed’s soccer team. The team he would never play with again.
What are you Allowing?
Are you allowing yourself to be held in your grief? Or holding yourself tight in fear?
Are you permitting fear to rule over you?
Are you allowing yourself to consider new doors standing open? Doors waiting for you when you are ready?
The choice is yours, even when it seems otherwise.
We are in this together. We are respectfully listening to one another by holding space.
Join us on April 14th and discover how four of us opened the door to a Brand New Day.