Gifts and treasures are hidden in grief.

Of course, when gripped in the throes of intense grief, we don’t believe it. Nothing of value can come out of this pain, we think.

I wish I’d known this truth before my devastating grief journey. Because one of the greatest treasures I discovered was learning to ask for and receive help.

However, asking for help can feel uncomfortable because our culture values independence. We’re conditioned to not impose on people. We don’t want to be a burden or to inconvenience others. We might even feel it’s wrong or selfish to ask for help.

Also, when grieving we tend to get caught up in our own world of pain. We withdraw into ourselves and view others’ motives with a pessimistic mindset. It’s hard to recognize that people truly want to help.

But if we don’t let others in, we rob them of blessings.

  • The blessing of giving.
  • The blessing of making a difference.
  • The blessings of positive connection, community, and belonging.

Additionally, as difficult as it is to ask for help, receiving help feels disconcerting. Many of us are conditioned to caring for others without thought for ourselves. It’s a way of feeling validated. We’ve heard message after message to “love others more than yourself”.

And grief can heighten that caregiving response. Escape your own pain by focusing on everyone else.

The truth is grief requires self-care.
And self-care includes letting others in.
To both ask for and receive help from others.

In fact, our survival and healing depend on connection and community.

In my Rubenfeld Synergy training, Ilana taught us the importance of listening to our inner voice. To ask our inner wellbeing what’s needed in this moment.

Perhaps you need someone to sit and listen to stories of your beloved. Or to look through photo albums together and share a pot of tea.

Maybe you need to get out of the house and go for a walk – by yourself or with a buddy. Or perhaps going to a movie with a friend is needed.

                                   Read More About Self-Care

        Integrated Wellbeing has a series of posts for practical self-care strategies.
You’ll find insights on how to use listening touch, discovering with curiosity, and more.

                                            Click here for self-care articles

So yes, there are gifts hidden in grief.

The grace to ask and receive help is a treasure few can find. Not until we’re brought to the end of ourselves. In the depths of grief, we can experience
the required vulnerability to ask and receive.

Love all around, above, below, to the left and to the right, before you and behind you,
Georgena

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