How are you in this moment? – Notice I asked, “How are you in this moment?” Not at this moment. Because ‘at’ is outside of us. ‘In’ is connection within.

The definition of trauma

When I watched the movie, “The Wisdom of Trauma” and heard Dr Gabor Mate’s definition of trauma, I bid my definition farewell and memorized his.

“Trauma is not what happens to you. It is what happens in you.” – Gabor Mates, MD

What happens in us is disconnection.

When facing trauma, some of us leave our bodies (dissociate). Others shut off all feelings and go numb. Some build an immediate defense – fight, freeze, or flee.

Do you respond to conflict and turmoil with control or connection?

Grief, loss, conflict, turmoil – all cause trauma. And common responses are to control, hide, withdraw, attach, flee, appease, flood (deer in the headlights), shutdown, confront, attack. Certainly not seeking connection.

When faced with significant loss, do you feel separate?

Trauma tried attacking me while watching the devastation in Haiti and the chaos in Afghanistan. I needed to return to my breath over and over to stay present and move the fear out of my body.

As news bombarded me my mind and emotions swirled with questions:

  • How could Haiti be hit again?
  • How did the Taliban move so swiftly?
  • What was going to happen to these people so far away?

I noticed how long I could watch before needing to walk away. Then I took time to center myself by rooting my feet and breathing.

From this centered Wellbeing, I was able to shift from the frenzy of fear to a state of stability and resilience.  

A call for connection

Releasing trauma takes connection. It’s a call for connection when we feel alone and isolated, weighed down by heaviness of sadness, and everything is shattered.

We cannot think our way through trauma.

We are feeling beings.

Emotions live in the body, not in words.

A breathing meditation

Here’s a 4-minute breathing meditation helping you connect within yourself.


[Please excuse the background noise. I’m living in a construction zone. Our condo complex is stripped to the studs with new insulation and siding getting installed. What a metaphor for my life and our world now.]

May this simple meditation bring you into Oneness Within, your Integrated Wellbeing that is you.

Light, Love, Power, Heart, Consciousness, Awareness, Grace, Compassion, Deep Listening, Acceptance, Knowing, Alignment, Presence, Peace, Truth, Joy, Freedom, Centered Wellbeing.

You are my wonderful teachers

Hit reply and share your thoughts and experiences. Also, if you know someone who’s holding trauma because of grief, loss, or fear please refer them to me.

Love all around, above, below, to the left and to the right, before you and behind you,


PS – Go here for more help to Transform Your Emotions

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