1. Put yourself in their shoes and notice what you’d like to have done if it were you grieving the loss of a relationship, child, spouse, sibling, or parent.

2. Buy and mail a gift card to eat out or call and offer to pick up dinner and deliver it the next evening.

3. Be a Sherry Johnson, that friend of mine who came every Sunday afternoon. She told me stories about my son that she had heard at school during the week. We sat upstairs in the sun on my bedroom floor and I marveled at what a difference my son had made in the lives of so many others. Stories he had never shared with me. She talked and I asked questions and took it all in.

4. Make soup. Put in disposable containers. It is so comforting, can be frozen and used any time.

5. Call and offer to water plants, mow the lawn or clear off the garden space in the spring.

6. Email with an offer to do the laundry while they nap. Everyone needs clean underwear and it takes focus and energy to do the laundry.

7. Offer to help sort and organize the medical bills, set up bill -pay on line or address envelopes and bring the stamps while they write checks. Sometimes just having a “buddy” to get started and be there during the process is enough.

8. Pick them up for a movie. Just getting out and away can be a boost. A short visit in the car may be all the energy they have.

9. Show up with a basket of bath salts, lavender oil, lotion, a new fluffy towel and a good book. Offer to stay and watch the children while they take a 20 minute bath to draw out the toxins built up in their body. (1 Cup of salt and 6-8 drops of lavender oil)

10. Be a Kandace Pile and just swing by and walk the dog.


If you’re struggling with the emotional process of grief...

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