My Dear Community,

Family traditions bind us together, give us a sense of belonging, and build loving memories. But when a loved one isn’t here to share in the tradition, what then? How can you approach a special event that you used to share together?

Approaching shared traditions

That’s what my friend wondered. Her mother passed last October. Now, this first year without her, my friend faces many traditions previously shared.

So, she asked me a few weeks ago, “What are you doing for the Academy Awards Ceremony?”

“Nothing,” I said.

With a tremor in her voice, she asked, “Would you please come watch them with me?”

Jane explained that “No matter where we were, my mother and I watched the Academy Awards together. Some years we were miles and miles apart. But we’d be on the phone together, simultaneously turning on our tv’s.  I just don’t want to do this alone.”

“Yes! Of course, I’ll attend the awards with you.”

What a gift to be invited to share this tradition with her. I’m going to dress up, wear one of her mother’s hats that she gave me and take a huge bouquet of flowers. I’m even printing out a voting ‘ballot’.

My friend faces the Academy Awards tradition without her mom for the first time. She’s using the opportunity to pause, reflect, and share her grief journey. I delight in her progress and intend to listen and learn from her – as I do from you too.

What about you?

Are you watching the Red Carpet previews on Sunday?

Let’s continue in the spirit of the Academy Awards.

Please comment below with your ‘’winner’ in each of the following categories and we’ll share them:

  1. The most hurtful remark about your loss by another person:
  2. The most maddening remark about your loss by another person.
  3. The most appreciated remark about your loss by another person.
  4. Other: