My dear community,
Last week I shared about my dear colleague, Fawn Miller, who lost her sweet puppy. As you’d expect, she has good moments and moments of grief overwhelm. She sent an update on how she’s navigating her grief journey. Listening to her Inner Wisdom. Learning to celebrate with a grieving banana cookie dance! Read on to find gold nuggets of wisdom inside her story.
After laying our little guy to rest last week, I desperately needed to “unplug”. I needed to create a sacred space to grieve the passing of my Spirit Animal. To honor and reflect on his life. And begin to explore what this profound experience has alchemized within, between, and beyond us.
In all honesty, I also just needed some straight-up self-care. Some recuperation time, rest, sleep, to eat pie, and cuddle with my other fur babies.
We took long walks with doggies Rangel, Silvio, and Toby. I connected with my spiritual counselors, got a long massage, and simply sat for extended stretches of silence – honoring this journey and allowing my ‘higher Self’ to guide the process.
THE REAL TALK
This has been one of the most difficult experiences of my life. Period. Full stop.
It has been a heart-breaking, soul-opening, f****ng intense ride of epic proportions.
I have been broken open and deep transformations are emerging in new and unknown ways…
THE REAL-ER TALK
I have no idea how to navigate my devastation, or this transition, nor would “intellectual knowing” be of much help anyway…
I let the watershed happen when and how it needs to, which is often and a lot.
I watch my thoughts, knowing that they are “just thoughts” as they continue to conjure vivid and aching memories of the best of times and the worst of times…
THE SUPER REAL TALK
Amidst this completely unpredictable and insanely challenging journey my inner wisdom dropped in a simple and profound instruction that made all the difference. And it came during the throes of one of my, “How the hell am I going to get through this?!” moments.
I must tie myself with trust to the mast of my primary and encompassing Core Value: AUTHENTICITY
Something deep within me knows beyond “knowing” that, if I’m absolutely true and authentic in this experience, authenticity will carry me through.
Whatever it may bring or however it may present, authenticity will carry me through, moment by moment, and deliver me through heretofore unknown aspects of the Human Experience.
Which also means that…
I’m free to experience it all – however “it” may arise or show up, or need to be expressed, or nurtured in the moment.
In essence…my Inner Wisdom gave me permission to become the toddler, the chaperone, and the nurse of my own experience, all rolled into one!
Which is what led to…
THE GRIEVING BANANA COOKIE DANCE
at 10:00 in the middle of the kitchen.
“What the heck is THE GRIEVING BANANA COOKIE DANCE?!” you ask.
THE GRIEVING BANANA COOKIE DANCE is what life is all about. Life. Fun. Purpose.
It’s the extraordinarily absurd and gloriously silly expression that emerged through the most authentic expression of my life’s experience 😊
HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED
I was baking my bi-weekly batch of banana-oatmeal cookies for the family. This is a ritual I typically indulge in every other Saturday evening while watching SNL reruns and laughing my pants off.
And then I remembered how Bartolito, before he got sick, would sit at the kitchen table like a little “dude” and watch me. He watched with loving curiosity, patiently puzzled, as I indulged in my massive banana-oatmeal cookie extravaganza of hilarity.
And WHAM! Like a rushing river, these precious memories brought a tidal wave of intense tears. I fell into a Bartolito-hole of sorrow the size of the universe.
And as I stood there, mid-dollop of cookie dough, a mighty surge of grief and sadness roaring through me…
Something cut through the wave and set me straight. Or rather…wiggly…
That “something” was the DAMN GOOD HOUSE MUSIC playing in my earbuds.
At the exact moment the music cut through, a portal of passion appeared.
And in the snap of a finger, I was miraculously moved to
DANCE. THROUGH. THE. TEARS!
To really really dance. To dance like a total goof-ball maniac on a sugar high without a care in the world!
And it felt A-MAZE-ING!
All of those intense, potent, overwhelming emotions liberated through inner wisdom and a wiggly body somehow tapped me into total appreciation for every ounce of it all.
A total surrender to…
THE GRIEVING BANANA COOKIE DANCE!!!
The healing power has worked wonders for my process so far. It will continue being a vital resource in my arsenal of “Tools for the Grieving Process”.
The Grieving Banana Cookie Dance has set me free and officially marked my re-entry into the land of Life, Fun, and Purpose.
It’s by this same mysterious magic that I somehow find myself ready and able to ease back into “real life”. By the grace of this grief maelstrom and moment-by-moment healing, the “New Now” emerges as my journey continues. Enveloped by wisdom. Guided by authenticity.
Friends, hit reply and share how my friend’s story touched you. What take-aways did you glean?
Love all around, above, below, to the left and to the right, before you and behind you,
PS – If you’ve lost a beloved pet, you may find this article helpful: When We Lose a Pet
And, get dancin’ along with Fawn and Danny Rhys & Matt Weeks
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