“Grief cut my circuit. The nerve that made me connect to other people is dead.

It reminds me of my Great Auntie Ann. She was really sweet even after she forgot everything because of her Alzheimer’s. She would reach out and pat my hand saying ‘We’ve been friends for a long time, haven’t we?’ I don’t feel myself reaching out. The circuit is cut. The nerve is dead.”  – Grace

Are you caring for someone with dementia? Do you feel overwhelmed, exhausted by the grief? Are you feeling day-by-day the wrenching loss of your loved one’s brain?

Are you feeling the separation is not only from them, but from yourself?

The Rev. Dr. Michelle Medrano writes “I feel like an appliance NOT plugged in and therefore, powerless to perform my function.”

Many of us, no longer in grief or caring for a beloved dying by disease, feel the disconnect from increased internal or external stress in these uncertain times. Images of the devastation of floods, fires and earthquakes assault our sense of safety and security. Our bodies see, feel and hear the trauma.  Cut off from cell phone connection like Texan, Floridian, Georgian and now Puerto Rican citizens, grief and the increasing racial and ideological division in our country severs our awareness, compassion, and our love nerve. It becomes hard to reach out.

So what do we do to reconnect? Why do we want to? How do we do it?

We return to our body to reconnect (the what) because the body does not lie (the why). It is not a source of fake news. Our body is the pathway back to connection. It points the way to our heart.

3 Tools to Revive you Love Nerve:

  1. Stop right this minute and touch your left elbow. Notice what it is like to connect through clothing or skin-to-skin. What does it feel like to be held by yourself? Breathe several times in this position. Is energy returning? Are you noticing deeper connection with your breath, your elbow, your sense of self-nurturing? Are you plugging in to yourself?
  2. Now take your attention to your right thumb, the one that is part of your hand cradling your left elbow. Continuing to hold your left elbow and simply move your thumb away from the other fingers. Notice the movement. Was it easeful, painful, slight or sweeping to a full opening? What was it like to move  your right thumb away from your fingers? Did you feel a disconnect, a sense of freedom and expansion, or something else? If you felt nothing, simply repeat moving your thumb to meet your fingers and then it away from them. You can’t do this wrong, even if you are feeling nothing your are noticing something. Imaging your thumb like the plug of an appliance. Together with fingers is plugged in. Moved out is unplugged.
  3. Releasing your left elbow bring your right thumb to your sternum, your heart center. Your right hand may be pointing upward with your palm facing left. Then float your left thumb up to meet your right. You may find your fingers and palms coming together in prayer position. Now breathe several times. What are you noticing? Can you feel your breath moving your chest? What is happening in your elbows, your shoulders your back? Can you begin to feel your body and the love nerve of your heart?

Let me know how this worked for you at: https://www.facebook.com/BeyondYourGrief/?ref=bookmarks


Please join me this Saturday morning for more Caregiver Energizers at: