Do you feel like you’ll never be the same again?
You are right. You won’t be. Ever.
I am not the same woman I was on the morning of January 24, 1998. That night my life changed forever.
None of us are after a trauma, or a great loss.
The human condition requires us to expand (no, I do not mean our waistlines). We are designed to expand and evolve.
The Body-Mind Energy Principles
Ilana Rubenfeld, the creator of RSM, the body-mind energy method that was essential for my recovery, discovered these principles:
- Each individual is unique.
- The body, mind, emotions and spirit are part of a dynamically interrelated system.
- The body is a metaphor.
- The body tells the truth.
Putting It Into Practice
- Just this afternoon, I cradled my client’s head and her stomach tightened. Now how could that be? I put my hands on other people’s head and they feel their head or neck. They do not report a tight stomach. (Principle 1: Each individual is unique)
- Next, I placed my hands on her head and arm. Again, her stomach responded. (Principle 2: The body, mind, emotions and spirit are part of a dynamically interrelated system.)
- We would later discover it was the clenching of her now childless womb. My client’s teenager had died months earlier. (Principle 3: The body is a metaphor. & 4: The body tells the truth.)
My client discovered a little more freedom.
Do you feel like you’ll never again feel free of grief? I did. I was held in bondage to grief for years.
That’s why I now do what I do. Asking potent questions. Dispelling the myths keeping us stuck in grief. Giving permission to recover and rebuild.
Grief is a roller coaster of highs and lows. Grief is not a life sentence.
I assured my client, who felt lighter after the grief in her stomach was recognized and released, it is ok to feel ok. This is healthy grief. A moment of high, of lightness, of promise.
Allow – Accept – Receive
ALLOW yourself to feel happy. When you eat that juicy watermelon and become engrossed in winning the seed spitting contest – feel happy! Feel the freedom from grief for a moment. Just allow it. Don’t criticize yourself.
ACCEPT the awe you feel when watching magnificent fireworks flowering above you. Don’t beat yourself up.
RECEIVE relief from grief, if only for a moment. You can be free from grief.
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I saw my 67 year old mother on June 2. She died June 6 from cerebral hemorrhage. As the eldest daughter the responsibility of making decisions fell on me. And I do mean fell. Four close friends helped me through the next weeks of making arrangements for the funeral and burial, and notifying relatives and friends. They guided me through one of the most difficult times in my life.
The day after Mom’s death, they met with me and decided how each would help me. Based on my experience I look for where help is needed most. I talk with family members and go from there. I am around as my friend goes though the stages of grieving, especially as shock begins to wear off. I am retired and I make myself available at any time.