Is Your Inner Critic Killing You?

My Gestalt therapist-Episcopalian Priest used to say, “Progress has been made”. Thankfully she came out of retirement to work with me when I moved to Oregon. And guided me to Centered Wellbeing – that place within each of us that is pure Love. Love without work and no Inner Critic stealing your joy.

Your Inner Critic is the opposite of your Centered Wellbeing

So, what does this have to do with your Inner Critic? Ah, my friend, your Inner Critic is the polar opposite of your Centered Wellbeing. The only thing they have in common is that they are hosted by you. The Inner Critic resides in your mind. Your Centered Wellbeing is the very heart of who you are. Remember the quote from C.S. Lewis?

“You do not have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.”

During my Rubenfeld Synergy training Ilana Rubenfeld used to tell us, “Send your inner critic to Bali. Then it will leave you and never come back. Then you are free to experience Beginner’s Mind.” Can you remember how old were you when first encountering the Inner Critic? When did the nagging, perfectionistic, mean inner critic first emerge?

Stop reading now

Unearth the first time you felt like you weren’t good enough. When you were sent back to clean the bathroom sink for a fourth time because you missed a spot on the mirror. Remember what I said after my son Reed died? “Being too hard on yourself can kill ya.”

Let’s pause

Pick up your pencil, crayons, or pen and begin to draw your inner critic. (No one is going to ask you to share it unless you choose to). Now call it by name. Mine is called Gertrude (apologies to any of you with the same name) Then begin a dialogue with it.

• Tell it all the ways it is bugging you.
• Thank it for the high standard it has set for you.
• Ask it if it has anything to say to you.
• Thank it for those insights.
• Ask it if it has a favorite place it would like to go to live.
• Send it there on a magic carpet with your favorite Abracadabra or whatever-works-for-you mantra.

Now go for a walk. Or stand up and shake like a dog just coming out of the Willamette River. Or put on your favorite tune and shake your booty for a minute or more. Come back to the screen and exhale loudly. Then breath in the Light and exhale the Love that’s at the very center of your being. Your Centered Wellbeing. Keep breathing until you:

1. Connect with that wellbeing within (you may draw that) OR
2. You feel yourself filling with light, love, and become peaceful.

Be the encourager someone needs

At some point during each week, we all hang by a thread and need encouragement. Gift a friend by posting this on your favorite social media page. Love all around, above, below, to the left and to the right, before you and behind you, Georgena