Grief can be a dark place, especially when one is in Fragile or Raw grief. When we’re in these states, it can be difficult to see the flickers of light unless we’re actively looking for them. Today, we’re going to talk about how to find the glimmers of good in grief.
What can be considered a glimmer of good?
Let’s talk about what good actually means in this context. It’s the flash of light from a firefly in the darkness. Good can be anything from a favorite food to receiving support from family and friends.
One of my favorite examples of finding a glimmer of good is this:
A woman, who had lost her husband suddenly to cancer, was gathering photos for the memorial service. The woman’s sisters-in-law also brought over photos to add to the video that would be shown at the funeral.
These printed photos had to be digitized, and she asked her daughter to help. While her daughter was scanning in photos and editing them for clarity, all of the women who loved the man who passed away were able to share memories from each photo, as it takes time to process each photo. There was so much laughter, many tears, and the bond between these ladies grew stronger over the hours that passed.
So even though no one wanted to have to build this memorial slideshow, the glimmer of good that came from the necessity was the stronger-than-ever bond that developed from hours spent sharing memories.
Why is it important to seek out the positives?
Let’s be clear: No one wants to be in a state of grief. But if you have to be—and we do have to be, as death is a part of life—we need to be able to see more than darkness.
It’s when we feel our lowest that it’s important to mindfully notice all of the goodness that is around us. It can be difficult to do this, so be sure to check out my blog post called How to Recognize your Everyday as a Miracle if you’re struggling.
When and where do we experience these glimmers?
These flashes of light can come in the form of hope, love, kindness, memories, or anything that inspires a feeling of comfort, happiness, or any positively charged emotion.
They can come at any time, and are often when you least expect it. There’s often an element of surprise attached to these glimmers of good, much like having a firefly light up right beside you when you’re outside after dark.
It can be a random act of kindness, such as a stranger offering you a tissue when you’re upset in public. Having your emotions accepted by someone who doesn’t know you, and then being offered kindness instead of being avoided, is a beautiful thing.
One example that I love is when a lady found a new friend after attending a grief support group through her local hospice. Even though neither of them would have chosen to be there, they were able to find the good in the situation and received more support than they ever imagined they would.
Once you begin to actively seek out the glimmers, they’re everywhere!
Much like looking for fireflies in the dark, we have to open our eyes and keep them open to notice the shift from dark to light. These glimmers may be brief, or they may shine forever. But they impact us in positive ways, for a long, long time.
What glimmers of good have you seen in your grief? Share below!
Love all around, above, below, to the left and to the right, before you and behind you,
P.S. Don’t forget to pick up my book, A New Mourning: Discovering the Gifts in Grief, to get the toolkit you need to help you move toward radiant living.
If you’re struggling with the emotional process of grief...
I want to share a free assessment with you that can help you recognize the physical, cognitive and emotional reactions you may be experiencing. You’ll also be asked about your beliefs around grief, your behavioral reactions and we’ll do a deep dive on fundamental questions that have helped so many others.
Click the button below to get started!