Reach outCall, text, send a card. Let them know you’re thinking of them, especially in their position as a close companion to the bereaved.
Be presentKeep your thoughts in the now. Offer a listening ear and other kindnesses. Use your mindful listening and focus on how they’re feeling. Third, let them decide how much to share. This is NOT a gossip time. You don’t need details of the death – it’s not your business. You don’t even need to know how the bereaved is doing.
Comfort the comforterYour focus is on befriending and comforting the comforter. Theirs is a heart-wrenching role. If you send a card, here’s an example of what you could say:
The news of Mary’s loss was an unexpected shock. Because you’re a close friend, your love and support will be needed for a long time. You are held in my thoughts as you walk this difficult journey of grief with her. And I’m here for you if you need a warm cup of tea and a hug of friendship.If you live close by, consider dropping the note off along with some 7-UP and fresh lemons. This combo magically cuts the headache one gets from sobbing. I don’t know how it works – it just does. Don’t let your discomfort with grieving stop you from reaching out. Read this article: Grief is NOT Contagious
Your turn to shareIf you’ve ever been the main support person for a loved one in grief, what helped you be strong? What are your ideas for supporting a grief-adjacent person? Love all around, above, below, to the left and to the right, before you and behind you, Georgena
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