I am constantly amazed by the synchronicity Beyond Your Grief and its community receives. Katie had agreed to the guest blogger position for the month of July. Her fingers flew resulting in this blog, so perfect for Father’s Day, the timing of the June newsletter and each of you who’s father is on the other side. There are two gifts from me waiting for you at the end of Katie’s beautiful blog. ~ Georgena
How Grieving Can Cause Body- Mind Shock
By Guest Blogger, Katie Ramseur, CHT,NLP
I remember with crystal clarity the night I flew into LaGuardia Airport in New York to see my dad for the last time. It was early evening, and right before the plane landed, a sudden quietness overtook the row I was sitting in. It was as if each molecule of oxygen had stopped moving. I began to wonder how dad was doing. To be truthful, I was praying that he was still alive. An hour later, I was driven to the hospice, where I was greeted by my brother, Mike. I opened the door to dad’s room, expecting to see him quietly resting. But to my surprise, I saw my father lying completely still, his bright blue eyes wide open, staring at me. I was absolutely stunned. I had missed saying goodbye to him. Rather, he had said goodbye to me during those last few minutes of stillness on the plane.
It’s natural that most of us are afraid of death. Isn’t it ironic? Dying is “a one-time thing” for most of us. Yet the death of a friend, parent or spouse often causes us to obsess over what we should have said, yet never did. For example, how could we have handled that huge blow-up 10 years ago, which never got resolved? Or, why didn’t I tell my uncle that I forgave him years ago after he became drunk and abusive at my wedding? We often become obsessed about these unexpressed thoughts and emotions, as a heaviness settles inside us. This emotional overload may translate into feeling exhausted and depressed. It is described as the state of “Parasympathetic Shock” which causes our immune response to be repressed. In this state we become more susceptible to illness and other challenges. We become forgetful, to the point of no longer wanting to eat, sleep or even take a shower.
So, how can we prevent ourselves from being immersed in a state of Parasympathetic Shock? After all, being in shock causes us to feel as if we’ve run out of options, at least temporarily. Yet, our consciousness actually spans the entire continuum of Past-Present-Future. It’s just that we’ve forgotten how to engage in the “Future” part of it. Five days after dad left this world, I was sitting upstairs practicing meditation. Suddenly I heard the gravelly voice of my father intruding in on my silence. His voice had the same cadence he had during his last days. “Katie,” he said, “I just want you to know I’m not in pain anymore. I feel so much better.” What a load hearing that took off my heart! Fortunately I was accessing that “Future” part of the time spectrum, and I felt very fortunate.
The good news is: your feelings and thoughts will be heard, whether it’s through a simple thought, prayer, or speaking out loud to your beloved. Another option is to write a letter expressing everything you wanted your loved one to know. Then, burn it. This allows the spirit of your sentiments to be carried into the realm of higher thought where the message is telepathically received. Sometimes creating a drawing or painting that signifies the essence of the one who’s crossed over is a wonderful reminder of the relationship you two shared together.
The antidote to being in Sympathetic Shock is: Nurture Yourself First. Take time for yourself, in all the ways that you need. This may require some quiet reflection. Spend time with those who are also nurturing for you to be around. Your body, mind and soul will be ever so grateful.
Katie is trained in Brain Working Recursive Technique. Learn more at: Innerpathwayhypnosis.com
Are you truly nurturing yourself?
The questions at the end will guide you to your hidden beliefs and next steps. You will receive a personal reply from me with a powerful tool to immediately shift your “Parasympathetic Shock” be it caused by grief or the Portland traffic!!