His mother passed only weeks ago. Sunday the minister read the love letter he wrote to her accompanying his floral tribute. The yearning, longing, missing were everywhere present. The community was confused. How do we support him? We had a choice-go down into the vortex of grief with worry and wondering how to ‘fix’ his sadness. Or choose to give Loving Confidence.We chose-to stand at the edge of the vortex and send love in the form of confidence. Confidence is a facet of Conscious Grieving and Intentional Mourning. Loving Confidence is knowing he will move through and beyond his grief. What does ‘Loving Confidence’ look like, feel like, sound like? Confidence looks like my body language strong and grounded each time he comes to mind. I will not bend inward, but stand or sit tall, rooted as a redwood when I think of him. Sending him loving energy from this place of strength. It feels like me being calm, loving, open to whatever is happening with him. I choose not to feel fear or anxiety if I am doing, saying being the ‘right’ way. It sounds like “I love you and support you in this place of raw grief.” There. I have named this grief. It hurts. I get it. Then I ask “What would you like to have happen in this moment?” I listen, knowing that I am not there to try to control this, his outcome. When I choose to worry, wish he would be different or that things were different, I am taking myself out of a place of support and love. My confidence dissipates.
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