“I am going to have a heart attack any moment.” Her face was drawn, her voice thin and she was wringing her hands. I could feel her heartwhelm, that overwhelm of helplessness and despair.
We closed the door and her story spilled forth. Her unfaithful daughter-in-law had moved out, taken valuables and she was afraid her son would ‘be taken for all he was worth’.
He loved her, had taken her in pregnant and raised the child as his own. This was not the first time there was ‘another man.’
Motioning her to sit down, I put my hands on her upper chest and back. Enfolding her heart center, I invited her to breathe. “In through the nose and out through rounded lips.” My voice was trance-like. Calming. This theta vibration naturally entrains the brain. Her brain was matching its brainwaves to the frequencies of my voice. She continued breathing, listening.
Simply repeating the words and breathing with her, her heart began to quiet and dammed-up tears flowed down her cheeks. I paused as silence enveloped us.
“So your son is very successful?” I inquired.
“Oh yes.” She shared more of the story, her son’s story that she had taken on.
Her son’s belief that everything would work out was not hers.
At the next pause, I began singing the familiar song ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat.’
“This is hardly a dream, is it?” I inquired.
“No. It is a nightmare.”
“Who’s boat are you trying to row? “
Insight flashed across her face. She took a deep breath.
“Yes. You are rowing your son’s boat. He knows this will work out. You are filling his boat with worry, doubt and fear. Your thoughts are endangering his boat. They are disempowering him. One disempowering woman in his life is enough! Wouldn’t you agree?” We laughed. Of course, laughter changes our heaviness to lightness, giving us psychological air.
Then I gave her the names and numbers of legal professionals to allow him to navigate this maze.
“What if as you row your own boat, you simply see your powerful, loving son free of this woman whom he can no longer trust? What if, you put on your own oxygen mask first and care for yourself, so you are there for him as his calm, strong mother? Do you believe he can row his own boat and with professional help it will all work out?”
The pain left her face and her body and she began to breathe peacefully.
“Yes.” Was her confident, quiet reply.
She stopped by early the next morning to say she had remembered to ‘fill her love-cup’ by taking a long hot bath and sleeping soundly. She related the story of her physician who counseled her decades earlier as a newly divorced woman of young children saying, “You are a big cup full of love. You give this love everyday, all day long to your children and co-workers. You must take time each day to fill your Love Cup.” She had chosen to take a hot 15 – minute bath each night in those days.
Her son had called on her way to work to report that he was moving forward with professional support.
“My heart is calm. I can do my work today because I am rowing my boat and my boat only.”
So who’s boat are you rowing when someone you love is struggling? When you read tragic news on Facebook, listen to the radio or see the violence of Charlottesville?
- Feel the tightness in your body as you hear and seeing the tragedy.
- Feel your feeling of disbelief, anger and sorrow for an uninterrupted 45 seconds or more.
- Rail, Wail or Weep in a safe place as you float your hands onto tense places in your body again, staying with the feelings, trusting you will not be destroyed.
- Remember you are not alone.
- Be the source of comfort for yourself by consciously filling your Love Cup 15 minutes each day.
Choose to attend “From Pain to Peace in These Uncertain Times”.
WHY: To gather in the power of this community & leave with Three Keys to Peace that you can use daily multiple times.
WHEN: September 11, 2107. 6:30-8:30 p.m.
WHERE: New Renaissance Book Store.
1338 NW 23rd Ave.
Portland, OR 97210
CALL: 503-224-4929 with a credit card to cover the $20.00 registration.
You are NOT Alone in these Uncertain Times.
CALL: 503-224-4929 NOW (10a.m.-9:00 p.m.)