Is It Time for Intelligent Grief?

The tragic passing of Robin Williams, has given us Baby Boomers an opportunity for a “Do-Over.” Back in the 1960’s we did not bring in the Age of Aquarius, the Age of Love and Light. There is War everywhere on the planet. Now what we can do is model Intelligent Grief. Robin Williams, a Baby Boomer among us, has given us the opportunity to bring Grief out of the closet, to bring it to the table for a thoughtful discussion. Now is the time to feel it in our bodies and to actually demonstrate Intelligent Grief and Mourning. We have a New Mourning ahead of us. This is the Legacy we Baby Boomers can leave to our children and our children’s children and all the generations to come.

So just what is Intelligent Grief?

Grief is the conditions of exhaustion, over-whelm, anxiety and fear deep within. It is the churning feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, and fear. Intelligent Grief is AWARENESS of these conditions and feelings.  I remember being in my bathrobe at eleven o’clock in the morning when the doorbell rang. It had been four weeks since my son, Reed died. I had no idea who would be on the other side of my door. But I had the intelligence and courage to open it. I did not hide. I allowed myself to be hugged and held by my friend, Kris. That touch momentarily brought me back to life.

Intelligent Grief is KNOWING that after the raw grief of the first 90 days our brains begin to function a bit more normally.

It is ASSURANCE that we are not crazy when the tears won’t stop, the body aches to the bone and we can’t take a deep breath because we are closed in upon ourselves. It is KNOWING that the tears will finally flow for hours instead of days and minutes instead of hours.

It is never ever giving up in ASKING ourself “What is most kind and loving thing I can do for myself in this moment?” Self-care is the foundation of moving beyond grief. It is putting our own oxygen mask on first.Being gentle first with ourself and then with everyone around us.

It is a New Mourning, ALLOWING all the feelings that engulf us. When we Grieve Intelligently, we TRUST that we have the support to move through this Grief.

A woman was ready to leave the Grief Relief workshop. After feeling where Grief lived in her body, releasing it and replacing her longing with a new thought she turned to me and said

“It is time for my Grieving Buddha to come live with you. My Grief has been transformed into Aliveness.” So it is for each of us, when we feel, we heal. There is indeed a way through our Grief.

If you’re struggling with the emotional process of grief...

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