1. Remember that grief is a natural consequence of loss, and loss is a natural part of life. What is happening to you, as painful as it is, is life’s natural cycle. It is ok to not to like it at all, but you have not been singled out as a victim by grief.
  2. Write this down: I am moving from shattered to radiant living™. Post it in 9 places you will see it throughout your day. For example: inside the refrigerator, on the coffee pot, above the toilet paper roll, on the steering wheel of your car, etc.
  3. Remember: You are not crazy, you are learning to Mindfully Grieve and Intentionally Mourn. Be gentle with yourself. No one knows the trajectory or length of this sojourn through grief to re-inventing yourself.
  4. Breathe out forcefully. Then allow the next breath to simply come in. Exhale. Now as you breathe in, count the number of in-breaths. Exhale that number plus 2. Repeat for 3-9 breath cycles. Notice now how you feel in your body.
  5. Feel your feet in your shoes or on the floor, the ground, the grass or the sand. Repeat the breath tool in #4.
  6. Notice the place in your body that is calling for attention. It may be an ache, a pain, or tightness. Simply float one hand up and rest it gently in that place. Notice how it feels to connect to yourself in this way. Grief lives in the body. You’ve got to feel it to heal it.
  7. Awareness is curative. Begin to notice the thought that sucks you down into the Vortex of Grief. This thought is not bad or wrong. Simply notice it with curiosity.
  8. Ask someone who wants to do something for you to take you to a Grief Support Group. No one has to move through grief and mourning alone.
  9. Ask yourself the question: “What is the most kind and loving thing I can do (or be) for myself in this moment?” Then take action!
  10. Remember that Einstein taught us that “Energy is neither created nor destroyed. It simply is.” Your beloved has simply changed form, and you may have a new relationship.
Bonus tool Would you rather be dragged through grief by the “Dragon of Grief” or would you rather WAG? W=Wonder, A=Appreciation, G=Gratitude In this moment, simply look around and note one thing that transports you to a state of wonder. It could be something as simple as marveling at the miracle of your thumb! Appreciate this as a gift. And feel your gratitude for this gift – right here, right now.

If you’re struggling with the emotional process of grief...

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